Mother's Day 2014

We had a very busy but fun mother's day. Tyson let me sleep in and fed both girls. An hour later he came upstairs to report he had changed the BIGGEST poopy diaper ever. It's was pretty funny. We went to church and talked in sacrament. It was really neat because I had never spoken about my mother before. We both felt really good about our talks.The sad thing was that BOTH girls freaked out the entire time so while one of us was up in the pulpet the other was trying to keep them happy. It' was a lot of work. 

After church we put the girls down and Tyson let me watch "knight and day"which was a great funny movie. After we got the girls up and had a skype call with debbie and my mom. We wished them a happy day. Tyson was great at taking both girls so I could talk to my mom. He put both girls down and I got to watch Downtown Abbey :) 

So no big presents or anything amazing but it was such a relaxing day. Part of me wanted to help out because it felt weird to have Tyson do everything but then I realized that I needed to take time for me and so whenever I started to get worried I started reading the book "Simplicity Parenting"which is a fantastic book. 

I'm really grateful for my mom and Abuelita. These two women have really suffered in their lives. They are strong and gutsy and loving. My abuelita raised me and has shown unconditional love. She is quick as a wip and is very aware of what happens around her - but she chooses to look on the bright side and have tremendous  faith. I will always remember her never being ashamed to pray. She will whisper little prayers all the time. ALL the time. Whenever she is slightly scared or grateful she will close her eyes and whisper a prayer. God walks with her everyday. 

My mom is strong. Life has handed a lot of pain but she has surpassed any trial that Satan could have put on her. She is loving and unbelievably happy - despite her pain. She thinks her kids are the greatest and still sees their faults. She loves us because we love our babies. She is vigilant of my girls and makes sure I remember how lucky I am to have Tyson as my husband. I  love her. More than anything I respect her. I listen because I know she knows what she is talking about. 

I'm grateful for  my mothers in my life. 

here is my sacrament talk:

After a lot of thought I’ve decided to name this talk “What I learned from the world worst mother”  Now before people start booing me off the pulpet and claiming blashtaphy, let me assure you this talk has a happy ending. 

I was born February 19^th, 1983 in Nicaragua, a third world country smack in the middle of central america, My mother, who’s name is also Martha, had just turned 15. In an attempt to make the best of a situation, my mom married my Dad. By the time she was 22 she had four children and was living a pretty miserable life.  In a courageous decision, my mom chose to leave her country and took her four kids to Utah to escape a very abusive and toxic marriage.  I can only imagine the fear she must have felt, going to a new country where she did not anyone but a handful of family, no English and knowing that somehow she had pull it together for her kids.  The first lesson she taught me was courage.  As mother’s we have the ability to teach our children a lot without ever opening our mouths.  Sherry Dew said this about mothers:

“Have you ever wondered why prophets have taught the doctrine of motherhood--and it is doctrine--again and again? I have. I have thought long and hard about the work of women of God. And I have wrestled with what the doctrine of motherhood means for all of us. This issue has driven me to my knees, to the scriptures, and to the temple--all of which teach an ennobling doctrine regarding our most crucial role as women. It is a doctrine about which we must be clear if we hope to stand “steadfast and immovable”2 regarding the issues that swirl around our gender. For Satan has declared war on motherhood. He knows that those who rock the cradle can rock his earthly empire. And he knows that without righteous mothers loving and leading the next generation, the kingdom of God will fail.”

I can only imagine the war Satan declared on my mom when she was raising a young family. I can only imagine the doubts and fears she had late at nights while the 5 of us slept in the same room. But my mom kept moving on. I bet Satan thought she would be “easy” to derail, but my mom stayed strong. Did she make mistakes? Absolutely. But she never let her mistakes keep her permanently down.

After a lot of work and with a lot of help from the church, our family started to get back on its feet. About 5 years after moving to Utah my mom met and married a great guy named Fredy. They have now been married 18 years and Fredy has been a huge blessing to our family. I have a lot of respect for his courage to marry not just my mom, but her four kids. Still, in those 18 years of marriage they have gone through some really tough times. I remember a particularly tough period for them. .I was 19 and a sophomore in college. I won’t go into details but things were really dark and hard for them as  acouple. It’s was really really hard to see my mom suffer. Of course her kids rallied around her and wanted to do whatever we could to help. I remember being so mad at Fredy for hurting my mom that I told her “leave him mom, we’ll help you pay for things, you don’t need him.”  But my mom refused and although it took a long time and it wasn’t  perfect, they made it out stronger than ever.  The second lesson my mom taught me is to be committed and tough.

Now that I’m a mom and married, I understand so much more why she stayed. God did not send us down here to try things, but to see things through the end. In the gospel we refer to as “endure to the end.” But no one talks about how hard that can actually be. Our girls Sydney and London are 14 months apart and I’ve felt so weary this last 15 months trying to take care of both of them. On especially dark days, I think of my mom. I think about her ability to square her shoulders and not quit.  President Hinckley said

“planted within women is something divine.”6 That something is the gift and the gifts of motherhood. Elder Matthew Cowley taught that “men have to have something given to them [in mortality] to make them saviors of men, but not mothers, not women. [They] are born with an inherent right, an inherent authority, to be the saviors of human souls … and the regenerating force in the lives of God’s children.”7”

My mom has saved me  on many dark days. Those memories of seeing her push through tough days and waking up the next morning to do it again.  She use to say to us growing up “tu no eres una victim” which means “you are not a victim”. She raised us to know that WE choose our attitude and our life. I remember going through an earth shattering break up when I was in college. I thought my life was over. My mom, who was never one for sweet words  of love gave me a  funny form of advice and she said “when your heart is broken,  work out and make sure you look good” which at the time I thought was so vain, but now I understand is that she meant “your value is not obtained by anyone else. You are worth appreciating and taking care of.” My mom taught me to remember who I am – I am a daughter of God.

The final lesson that I learned from my mom was the power of letting go. You see, after that earth shattering break up I began to grow a cold heart toward love. I began listening to Satan when he said “love it not real, people don’ make it, it’s too hard.” The best way I could describe it was that I was becoming bitter. And I think that’s an easy thing to do. Life can be full of challenges and sometimes we allow our hearts to become bitter because we think it will protect us from future hurt.  Whenever I’m tempted to do that in life I do two things 1. I pray so that my heart can be soften and 2. I think of my mom.

You see, in my opinion my mom had every right to be bitter. Her first marriage was full of abuse, infidelity and control. After managing to come here, she has had to take on very minial jobs for little pay and to this day she works 7 days,  she’s dealt with wayward children and the normal worries of any mother, however if you ever met her, you would never guess she has had such  harsh life. My mom has the sweetest attitude and outlook on life of anyone I know.

Story of the shrek, the sheep.

My mom taught me that although bad things can happen to you, YOU can let it go and start  toward something better.  When I was younger I remember a lot of our family blaming my mom for bad choices my siblings were making .  All of our family looked down at us as if we were some kind of left over puppy and did not think we would amount to much.

But my mom never believed that and she corrected anyone who dared say that about her kids. She always stood up for us and always reminded us that we were just as worthy, capable and smart as anyone else. 

So what are the results of the worst mom in the world?  All four of her children have gone and graduated from college, all are married to amazing spouses, three of which are in the temple, but more important we all respect her. She has left this amazing legacy of strength and determination.  

There are many days were I do something and I think “I’m the world worst mom” like when Sydney uses a tube of toothpaste and Tyson’s toothbrush to paint her babies face, or when we go to public places and I see London eating stuff off the dirty floor, or when 5 pm strickes and I’m on the floor with two screaming babies.  I bet my mom felt like this all the time, but the reality is that we never remembered that. We only remember her being a great mom. So my message to us this mother’s day is, as mothers, we are doing so much better than we think.  Heavenly Father is proud of what we accomplish or even attempt to accomplish every day. I thank GOD every day for my mother, the good, the bad, the ugly, I love ALL of her because she has always loved ALL of me