The hardest part was my stress level. I've never traveled with so much stress. Right now I was going through 2 launches with clients and honestly I just felt overwhelmed. Things were not done on time from team members, My phone was not receiving text, everyone wanted to see us so we were driving a lot of places.
There were many times where I had so much anxiety - I just wanted to run. I felt like I was dropping the ball and letting all my clients down. It was awful.
It was especially bad on Friday when I went to lunch with Melynda. I was so distracted trying to get wifi so I could check email - I was so frustrated! I stopped the car 3 times trying to get signal and then Sydney had to pee.
I was falling apart. I just wanted it to stop.
I felt like a failure and that I should just quit.
I write this because I am sure my girls will feel the same - that Tyson will feel the same. But God can strengthen us and can help us take a deep breath and start again. For so long I remember wanting to just be perfect - but then I realized that I would not rely on God's grace if I was. I rely on my clients grace and my families grace to help me through.
I know I am not perfect and many times it feels like even trying my absolute best is not enough - but God also let's me know "it's ok" and he makes up the difference.
Other than that, Utah was fun. It was great to see family.
