New Years Eve 2017

Wow! Another year is passed. 2017 felt different in so many ways. New years eve was church in the morning, then nothing by lounging at home. At 7 pm we went next door to the Blakely's. We had traditional Moldovan food, played minute to win it games. Tyson was amazing and did all the dishes - because he is amazing. Then we played until 930 and then did a "countdown" and went home. 

I loved that it was relaxing and safe. I loved that we played games and stayed in our Pj's. 

I  use to be so freaked out to be "alone" during the holidays - but slowly I am letting go of that and embracing just being alone or with another small family.

I won't lie, the 1st 6 months kicked our butts in every aspect - financially, emotionally, marriage-wise, health-wise, parenting-wise ... it was so hard and so humbling. 

But here we are  - at the end and we have seen so much growth and so many blessings. 

I think the most important changes have been really internal. We did counseling for 6 months and it was so key to help heal our marriage and heal after losing Baby B. Both Tyson and I really had to dig deep and rely on the Lord and humble ourselves to stay together. 

Our marriage was so low and yet I think it was necessary to see that we were faking our commitment - but now we really really do feel committed to the real versions of each other.

Work wise, we really took risk. Tyson was in school and started working at Voltage.  This change has been amazing and SO hard. Tyson has had to do it all himself and there have been many days that have left Tyson wondering if he can really do it. 

The thing that keeps coming to my head as I see him struggle is "God is the gamechanger"

And what I  mean by this is that both Tyson and I often feel like our talents are not up to the task - and there is a lot of truth to that. But GOD is the gamechanger. He can take our sub-par talents and partner with us to make up the difference. He will take all our effort and work and sweat and faith - and make it enough. There is NO way Tyson could have done this by himself - but God is making up the difference. 

I see that in my business. My clients have grown and my clients have made me grow. I feel so humbled. We have many dreams but we know ultimately, God will create what he wants out of our lives.

The girls grew so much in 2017- he grew so much closer to each other. We have learned to love them for who they are and for the challenges they bring.

I finished my Primary time and I am thankful and sad at the same time. We were able to really hit some financial goals and I have continued to see the benefits of minimalism. 

So I am thankful 2017 is over - but will be forever changed by the lessons it taught me. 

Here's to a better 2018 :) 

Christmas 2017

The week of Christmas has been so wonderful.  I feel like this year for the 1st time we really geled as a little family. It was wonderful to be with others, but when it came down to it, we really did just fine with out little family. 

The week before Christmas was so busy - I was closing up launches with my clients and getting as much work as I could so I could really relax the week between Christmas and New years. Both girls were off school and even daycare was closed - so thankfully all but one of my clients took off. 

Christmas eve fell on Sunday - so we only had sacrament. The girls sang and we had a lovely Christmas program. We got home and it was time to start cooking for our Christmas Eve Favorites night. The Ashby's got to the house around 445 and we had a yummy dinner of chicken wings, breadsticks, Veggie treys, greek salad, pita chips,  artichoke dip ... and lot and lots of cookies. We played minute to win it games, spoons and watched some shows. It was super relaxed and honestly I did not even take photos. 

Everyone left at 8 pm and we quickly cleaned up and put the girls to bed by 845. Can I just tell you how much I love Minimalism during the holidays. Tyson and I often talk about how quickly it is to just clean up our house and how much peace it brings us. 

Tyson and I stayed up late to get ready. I also my casserole for the next morning. We went to bed by 10:30 PM. A funny story is that I headed to bed and Tyson stayed up working - and Sydney came up the stairs around 11:20 - she was half sleep but did not even notice Tyson - went straight to the bathroom an back to bed :) 

Tyson woke up at 6 am to put the breakfast casserole in the oven. Then at 730 we all got up. The girls went upstairs and then came down to "wake us up". We all headed up stairs and did the stocking. We got toothbrushes, toothpaste,  fruit snacks, oranges, candy, playdoug ... lots of fun things. 

Then we had my breakfast casserole - it was good but still not perfect. We tried to drag out the presents but only lasted until 10:30 :)  We watched the Disney parade on tv. 

The best part was that we had so much left overs that I did NOT have to cook at all. We just ate left overs. I loved that. After lunch we went sledding fro 45 minutes. The girls loved it. They even started going by themselves. 

We came home, watched a movie and I fell sleep. I've been having a sore throat for a few days and it kept me up at night. 

When I woke up we called our parents and spent time talking to them. Honestly, it was just so chill. We were all in bed by 830 and it felt so so good. We are thrilled that we are going to Cancun in February with the entire family :)  

Slow December

Christmas is officially one week away. It's weird that I have not posted anything so far. Honestly, we have kept things pretty simple. The tree has been up since November, the presents are bought, we have done fun activities but honestly, we have not felt rushed.

The week has been filled with school, work and swimming lessons - not much else. Saturdays are usually filled with a few fun, free activities and Sundays we get home and stay home.

I was released today as Primary secretary. Truth be told - I am relieved and sad at the same time. I handed off our folder and systems to the new secretary - but I am sad. I guess change is just hard.

We have hit some pretty big goals business wise. We have tried new things with Leslie and it's been paying off. It's been pretty cool actually. It's weird because I feel this big pressure and it's not even my own business.

Looking back this year has had a lot of changes with work. It's stretched me and made me have to be uncomfortable. I've really had to lean into the Lord and have him help me.

One thing that makes me really happy is that as a family we have been doing the Light The World videos. It's been such a great way to maintain the spirit of Christmas and i'm surprised at how many conversations it's started for us. The girls have really gotten into the spirit of donating and giving.

We are inviting people over for Christmas Eve and it's fun, but sometimes I wish it was easier. The holidays are always hard for me - I feel very lonely during them. I try hard to avoid it but when things just go still - my heart begins to hurt.

I've always felt that way but I am trying to not just push it aside,  but to lean into it and just feel it. It's ok to be sad. It's ok to be scared - but as long as I have faith in the lord, I know things will be ok.

I've always been an anxious person - but time of year makes it worse.