Holy Crap...

Today is the day. We don't "move out" until next Friday, but we have to get everything packed today because we head to Vegas on Monday. Not a big deal I thought - oh wait I still have to do appointments and finish up business. I am still thinking "where is all the crap from?" I mean I am NOT a pack rat and still I am amazed at all the stuff we have.

I'm stressed. I'm feeling so overwhelmed. Twice today I have just stopped and almost brought to tears just thinking "what the #@*% am I doing moving to Colorado?". I knew I would have these feelings - I just thought it would be on the road to Colorado.

I have a client meeting today at 5, then traninig tomorrow plus a team activity, plus my sister is coming in town to say goodbye - so I have to squeeze her in. Oh man I wish I could just stop the world from spinning for about .... 5 hours.

Since this is my only semi-journal, I want to make sure I write what I am feeling. I'm sure in a couple of years I will look back and wonder why I was so scared. I'm sure I will love Colorado. This is that great adventure I have been wanting my whole life - I guess I just realized how boring and scary and adventure can be.

At this point I just want to throw everything away - and believe I am. Food, containers, towels - all going to the dump or D.I. I became very generous whenever I move :)

Last night my throat hurt - I was up at 4:51 am getting something, anything to help my throat. Oh wait ... everything is PACKED. It sucked. I went to bed and just stared. Stared at my room, my closet, my window, my neighborhood. Everything I knew. it all felt so good. I stared at Tyson. This move is because of him. To give him, us, the chance we deserve to make Primerica work for us. Everything will change, has to change. I never want Tyson to ever think I held him back - but sometimes I am paralyzed to move. My heart is thumping hard. I'm scared but can't take it back now. Now it's just time to make it work and lots, lots, lots of prayers.


We will spend this weekened at my parents house so I can get this placed fully packed and clean. Vegas Monday - Thrusday night. Friday we load up and drive. Arrive an unpack in Colorado Saturday. This is madness.