Good Mornings ...

Sydney was pretty crazy last night. She woke up at 3:30, then 5:30 and then up for the day at 7:15 a.m. It was a long night to say the least. The funny part is that even though you are exhausted, you can't help but smile when you see her. She does best in the mornings. She has even started to giggle here and there. If you find a right move - she will giggle, but only once or twice. After she will give you this weird look. She's so funny.

Not a good Day ...

Today was not a good day. There I said it. Most days I absolutly love being a mom and can't get enough of Sydney. Today I fell short.

I was impatient. I was worried. I was mad. For some weird reason I was off. Sydney took her morning nap just fine. Her short The mid morning nap was great. Then her 2 pm nap - too short and I made the fatal mistake of not going to sooth her as I usually do. If she makes a sound - I go, soothe really quick and she will get another hour in.

I didn't this time. So the rest of the day she only took 20-30 minutes mini naps. She was mad and tired. I tried to put her down and Sydney would not stay down. Then I was impatient and all I could think about was how bedtime could not come soon enough. Then the guilt set in.

guilt that I was not patient enough, loving enough, consistant enough. Surely other mothers would love their babies even more during days like these. As I was feeding Sydney her last meal I kept saying "what do you say we try this again tomorrow...?" Like some imaginary "undo" button.

The hard part is that I work tomorrow. Thank heavens I only work part time, but the thought of leaving her really kills me. I know I need to do it. I also count my blessings that I only need to work part time and I still get the free apartment - its still hard.

So today was not my best day. Some would wonder why post? Because I want to remember that as tough as days like these are - I would never trade my sweet Sydney and what a blessing she is. Maybe someday she will read this when she is a new mom and she gets a small amount of strenght and sense of encouragement. It really does feel so lonely.

New Year ... New Hair

Its been long enough. I needed a change. My hair was killing me. Plus I just kept it in a pony tail. So I cut it. All off. It was great.

I'm really digging it.

Hair Happennigs

No Tyson did not get recruited by the Marines - he just forgot to look at his clippers when he was cutting his hair. I was feeding Sydney when all of the sudden I hear this "holy crap, honey you gotta come look at this ..." So I walk to the bathroom and sadly look at Tysonn's mistake.

BTW - A #3 clipper is WAYYYY different than a #8 clipper. Just saying.

Sydney Says First Word ....

OK so maybe not really a first word - but pretty close. Last night we slept over Ben and Allison Meakins house while tyson was away to Utah on business. She. Did. Awesome.

Down at 7:15, up at 9:50 for a dream feed, down until 7:15 am. The routine still continues to improve. I think I might get her a white noise fan just for the night. It seems to really help her.

You can see the rest of our videos on our youtube channel - coloradogerbers2007.

Ward Conference

Sydneys sleeps continues to improve. Tyson is still taking the 10:30/11 aclock dream feed. Last night she had her dream feed at 10:30 and then slept until 7 am. She woke up, played for 40 minutes then was back down for her morning nap for 2 hours. It's been such an adventure to teach her a routine. At first she really hated it, but now she cannot sleep unless she is swaddled, dark and binkie. I love it. I love that I know she is getting sleep and that WE are getting sleep for that matter. I have started to work out every day at our 24 hour gym and I cannot tell you what an improvement my mood had seen.

I'm happier, more active and have more energy. I also noticed that all the bad foods - my cravings have gone way down. I'm so thankful Tyson mader us get a membership right across our property. He really knew how to help me.

This weekend we have a fondue dinner date with Allison and Ben Meakin. They are such great friends. We adore their support in our sleeping routines. With twins girls they learned fast how important proper sleep was.

This week I might go check out story time with at our local library. I'm still wondering if Sydney is just too small. We have been reading every day and I am loving the habit we are forming.

We had ward conference on Sunday. They talked alot about decluttering your life of things that rob you of what matters most. I really appreciated that topic since I sometimes feel bad that I have scaled back on pretty much everything; however, I don't regret it one bit. Being with Sydney is such a blessing. I look at her and just want to squeeze her. My boss has approved me going back to work part time and still live in our property. We are so thankful! We know the Lord is taking care of us.

Looking Back

I found an old SD card in my shelf and I found tons of fun photos of Tyson and I right before our wedding. I've decided to post some of them since I make a book out of my blog. These pictures bring back so many memories - a life that was and continues to be so good and blessed. I've also come to the conclusion that I.must.lose.weight! It's not longer funny folks - this weight has to come off!

I remember living in my apartment with my roomates, stealing kisses with Tyson before sending him home at 10 pm, watching conference in our small TV, loving our student ward. It was such a fun time. However, looking back on these memories make me be soooo much happier about my life NOW. Last night Tyson and I could not go to sleep - so we started talking about Sydney. Her quirks, manerisms and just her personality. We talked about her coos, her eyes, the way she always seems mad when we let her cry for a couple of minutes ... I wanted to run into her room and just squeeze my baby. I'm so grateful for life now, and fond of the life I had.

Playdate

This week we went and had a play date with Allyson Meakin. She has twin girls who are 18 months and so much fun. Sydney did great. She took an hour nap and eat just fine. She is getting so fun! my favorite part is when she coos and talks to us. She makes this gurguling sound. Tyson loves to read to her and have her make a sound like she is following along.

Speaking of reading, we have been starting to read to her three to four times a day - short books but we want to start the habit at 10 weeks. I will be going to the library today to get some more fun books to read.

Sydney 2 Week Pictures

Here are some of the awesome shots that our good friend Vanessia Gilmore and her sister took. I am trying to find the rest but I think they are so cute! Sydney looks so small :) She was fussy the entire time and although it looks like she is happy - she was pretty mad. She peed on the table and cloth and we had to put her binkie in and out all the time to try and get her happy. Overall it was worth it.

Sydney Blessing

We blessed Sydney on 01.01.12 @ 11 am in Debbie and Gaylans wards.

We had all of Tyson's immidiate family there. We had my parents, julio, nelson, tia celia, chafi there from my side. Martin was a bumm and did not come and Jael was in the hospital with new baby Logan.

We prepared the night before. Debbie and Gaylan went to a hotel so Tyson and I cleaned and prepared the house and food. We woke up early to get ready.

Sydney looked darling in the dress Debbie bought her. It was a perfect.

Tyson prepared the night before and gave a beautiful blessing. Here are some highlights she was blessed with:

A strong testimony and the ability to pray to god
A willingness to be baptized and stay worthy to get married in the temple
A love for her future family and children
A knowledge that her parents loved her
The ability to see people as who they really are
The love of learning
Safety and health

It was a great blessing. Sydney was an angel and was happy the entire time. No crying until she was back in my arms. After the blessing we hosted a potatoe bar at Gerbers house. We played games and visited Jael at the hospital. We drove back to SLC with Julio and Nelson. It was a long day but a great day. It has alwasys been a dream of mine to bless my baby - I can't believe she is finally here. She is so wonderful.