Rough Day

It's been a rough day. Not home wise but work wise. I'm good at my job. I rocked at being the manager. My property was clean and always a top performer. I loved my time management and awards. I really took pride on it. When Sydney was born I knew I wanted to quit working full time and stay at home more with her. I took 12 weeks off and came back three days a week. At first it was hard even leaving Sydney but after a month I actually realized that leaving her refreshed me. It felt so good to be back.

Well it's been 4 months and my once excitement has kinda died. I feel like I lost my mojo. BIG TIME. I've come back and made rookie mistakes, I'm just not in my A-game. To make things worse ESS has started this new shopper program and changed everything that I was used to . The results, now instead of getting my 95% to 100% I'm use to I'm getting 50% to 60%. It should not be that big of a deal. Say it with me "this one thing does not defy me .." Except it still hurts.

To make things worse I was pulling out the golf cart up a hill and it died. Right on the spot. I tried pushing it myself but I could not get it rolling. I started crying. I was soooo done. I was emotional exausted and my ego was the size of a lima bean. I had to get the manager on her day off to help me. I was embarressed and just sad. I have not had a day like this in so long.

I remember litsening to a marriage tape years ago and one of the things one of the authors talked about was that it was "healthy to have a day every so often that just stinks ..." well today is that day for me. Part of me wants to eat EVERYTHING in sight and the other part of me wants to go run five miles. I'm hoping that when I get home I was just shut off the world and try again tomorrow.
I know this is a new phase in my life. I love being at home more and I get a lot of pride from being a great home manager - I just have to realize that work won't always be great and that now i'm the one taking orders instead of givin them out. It's ok. It's all going to be ok. I need to go on a walk and just take deep breaths.